Abby Ludvigson and Sex by Design Review

My kids are growing up in a different world than I did as a teenager. They’re being bombarded by unthinkable images and mindset that is ungodly in our social media, advertisements, internet, and even the changing entertainment on the big screen and on the television. How do you teach your kids about purity and God’s design for sex in today’s world? We obviously can’t keep them sheltered from all of it, but we can teach them God’s perfect plan that He has in store for them.

Sex by Design by Abby Ludvigson is helping parents and teens to build the foundation needed for a healthy Biblical worldview on God’s view of sex. I was grateful to receive Sex by Design Parent Guidebook, and Sex by Design Student Guidebook, and The Film Series that can be streamed or downloaded.

Abby Ludvigson at the age of 12 made a pledge to stay sexually pure until her wedding night. She went on to be public school teacher. During her time teaching she was seeing how teens are getting bombarded everywhere with peer pressure from all aspects of our society. Eventually, she went to work for a non-profit organization to help educate parents and teens to resist the social norm and to stay pure until marriage. In 2011 she joined The Navigators and using her teaching background she created a curriculum to teach in the schools and as a public speaker for seminars. 

In 2014 after the completion of Sex by Design her 23 years of waiting for the godly man that she would marry came to be. She handed her husband Greg her commitment that she made at the age of 12 to stay sexually pure to her husband on her wedding night. What a beautiful story. With Jesus at the center of your life nothing is impossible and Abby Ludvigson is a testimony to that in today’s world. This is truly what I want for my children. 

 What is Sex by Design?

This curriculum is intended for teens and their parents. Sex by Design addresses both girls and boys. Just to clarify that this is not a sex education course. The curriculum is to give the tools needed to help teens see God’s perfect plan for marriage between a husband and wife. To help them see the value of waiting for the soul mate God has in mind for you. Those vital tools needed to build a Biblical worldview to help them to focus on God’s way of sex and not the world’s warped view of sex. 

The Film Series:

There are seven topics covered in this series along with an Introduction for the parents to watch. I also watched a touching introduction by Josh McDowell about this series. Abby Ludvigson heart and passion shine through and she’s down to earth and I think it will speak volumes to your teens heart. 

The Sex by Design Parent Guidebook and Sex by Design Student Guidebook are based off The Film Series but, have some different uses also. I like to think of the segments as a window into the books. 

The Segments are:

Segment 1-Plan Ahead: Living Pure in a Sex-Saturated Culture (23 minutes)

Segment 2-Counting the Cost: Every Decision Has a Price Tag (23 minutes)

Segment 3-Dating: Doing Relationships God’s Way (19 minutes)

Segment 4-Sex: God’s Purpose & Plan (17 minutes)

Segment 5-Modesty: God Cares What I Wear (19 minutes)

Segment 6- Pornography: It’s Deception & Steps to Get Out or Stay Out (29 minutes)

Segment 7- Secondary Virginity: Running Back to God (18 minutes)

The first segment I’ll give more details so you can get a feel of what it looks like throughout the series.

Segment 1-Plan Ahead: Living Pure in a Sex-Saturated Culture-

This segment is almost 23 minutes covers conviction to choose to be sexually pure until marriage. It has to start with God with spending time reading and praying. Most of all knowing how God thinks from spending time with him then through that trust and love you will follow His commandments. I’m just giving you a brief glimpse of what it looks like. 

Abby Ludvigson talks about what she calls, “My 4G Network”. This was very clever way of looking at that commitment.

This segment breaks it down into 5 strategies:

 

1. Make Your Commitment Concrete- This part introduces you to the pledge card and a few other thoughts on making a pledge.

2. Build a Strong Network of Support-How do you deal with peer pressure and all the junk coming at you. You need to be around like-minded people that will hold you accountable to your commitment to stay true to your purity commitment. 

3. Set Clear Boundaries-Hormones will take over if you don’t set boundaries before you find yourself in a situation. Set your own boundaries with what you will and won’t do physically before your marriage night. Put your boundaries down and avoid situations that can put you at risk of your commitment.

4. Avoid Alcohol and Drugs-Abby goes over some of the statistics while under the influence. 

5. Monitor your Exposure to Media- How different is the world’s view of sex from Gods? Media affects our thought life, prayer life, and so many other parts of a healthy relationship with God. It comes from TV, movies, music, internet, and social outlets online.

Sex by Design Parent Guidebook:

This book has all the same material as the student book so you can read it with your student and discuss each segment in detail.

The Sex by Design Parent Guidebook gives you as a parent some tools in your toolbox to talk about God’s beautiful design He has made for a husband and wife to present to your teen. Lots of information for you to read before you start your journey through Sex by Design with your teen.

She explains how to approach your teen with using The Film Series and guidebook that will provide you with discussion questions with what you just watched. Second it goes over the questions in the guides/or activities so you can plant what was learned from head knowledge in to a heart conviction with Bible Studies and scripture memory. The third part is to help your teen with some activities that they will internalize and to make it applicable to their life.

Throughout the book you will see icons in the margins labeled “Call Outs” that will give you recommended book resources, article resources, downloadable resources, and media resources on the website.

One of my many favorite parts is the table that breaks up each segment into Bible verses and truth statements.

 Sex by Design Student Guidebook:

This is set up as a workbook from The Film Series and much more.

Each chapter/or segment starts out with a “A Note from Abby”.

There is a Film Outline where you can fill in the blanks of the questions and also questions where you have to write something down in your own words. Scripture verses you can look up and some “Truth Statements”. 

Then the “Follow Up” or discuss it and lastly “Personalize it.

Appendix:

The Bible: Your Sword in the Battle-This covers each segments from the videos asking you some heartfelt questions for you to write down and is used as a Bible Study time to dig into your relationship with God.

The 1 Peter Principle-This is also broken down by each of the videos segments. This portion is based off 1 Peter 3:15. For you to prepare your thoughts, rehearse the truths, and share what you believe.

How did I use Sex by Design with my teens?

At first I only intended to use this with my almost 12 year old son. After going over the material before presenting it to him I decided to also have my 15 year old daughter with special needs watch the videos with us.

I spent the first week reading the parent portion in the Sex by Design Parent Guidebook and watching the videos by myself while looking over the guidebooks. 

We have done 3 lessons during this time period. I would look over the material the night before to refresh my memory with what to expect. I watched the videos with my kids. We paused often. Some things my kids didn’t know anything about so I spent some time talking about what it was. I’m glad my kids are sheltered but, I want them to learn those unknown things from me and not someone else. I don’t want them to be surprised if they come across those situations or items. After the film I asked if they had questions both together and by themselves. 

I plan on going back over the material again especially with my son and I'll decide later if I go over it with my daughter later.  I may have my husband do the segment on pornography with my son as it just seems like something he could talk to him about having dealt with this issue with individuals in the past and witnessing how it effects those peoples lives.

I only worked with the Sex by Design Student Guidebook with my son. He would spend a few days working on it. Some topics took a bit longer than others. My son would talk a bit more about the topic with me after he went through the guidebook. I felt that while he did the guidebook he had put more thought into the topics and had more specific questions on the topic.When I asked him what he thinks of Sex by Design he says, “its good mom I think it’s informative and has taught me a lot that I need to take to heart”. “I’m glad that I don’t have to put up with some of the issues that many kids my age have to deal with”. 

My daughter due to her cognitive age we talked privately more and I focused on a lot of safety issues with her with not letting someone give you something for something in return and things that may pertain to her. My daughter has a heart of gold and loves God very much and freaks when she comes across a movie, commercial, or if someone says things they shouldn’t. She has always immediately told me or made whoever is around that something isn’t right. I loved that Sex by Design has really impressed upon her heart that God loves her very much and that he wants the best for her. My daughter doesn’t think she will ever get married due to her disabilities but, she says that’s okay, “God is my husband”. That is something that she has taken away from the segments we have watched so far. That speaks volumes to this mamma’s heart. I know that she wants God first in her life more than anything.

Would I recommend Sex by Design? 

Whole heartily I would recommend it. Abby Ludvigson is a role model for our teens and her light shines through while she is presenting purity and living a godly life in today’s world.

I would recommend that parents who have preteens consider this also. I think it’s important to prepare them before they are teens. It has also been very informative to my special needs daughter who is nowhere near her 15 year age cognitively. The guidebook wouldn't work with her but, The Film Series has been extremely good for her to see.

Other members from the Homeschool Review Crew have been reviewing Sex by Design. Stop by and see what they have to say.

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