Thursday, June 3, 2010

Developing friendships

Awhile back a mother in our homeschool PE class came to me and wanted to talk about her daughter who also has special needs. This mom was concerned about  her daughter not having any other friendships with girls her age. The only friendships she has is with her siblings. Like Bug she just doesn't relate to kids her age. Her daughter is 6. I have often thought of this myself with Bug. I can understand the sadness this mom feels and often wonder if Bug will ever really develop a friendship with kids her own age. Little Man gets invited to go over to friends house by himself. I don’t think Bug really understands why her little brother goes away. She cries when he goes but, I don’t feel that she has grasped the concept that she doesn’t get invited anywhere. Sometimes when we are at church she will hear some of the girls asking each others moms if they can have a play date or stay the night at each others homes. Bug has asked me if she can go but, I then have to explain to her that she was not invited. She seems sad for a moment then all of a sudden its forgotten.

When I was a child at Bugs age part of my childhood was centered around friendships. I would go outside and to other friends homes. We would stay the night and have slumber parties. I was kind of a shy child but, I still had friends that I hung out with. At times I feel like she is missing so much. Then again-is she? She doesn’t know that she is missing anything. One concern is when she gets older will she know differently? I am sure I am making to much out of it. Some days it just makes me cry for her.

This week I watched some kids for a family who’s mother had to stay at the hospital with her mom. My son and the little girl I babysat had a blast playing with the 3 kids age 5,7 and 12. Bug would play here and there for a minute of two and the just go off on her own and do her humming a go into her own little world. I wanted to grab her a direct her play the whole time. I kept telling Bug to go play with the other kids. I wanted her to be normal. Then I realized how selfish I was for myself. God gave me this wonderful little girl and he created her in His image. She is the way she is-perfect in His sight. Who am I to change her. She has a heart of gold, difficult a lot of times, and often lives in her own world and walks to her own beat. The heart is what matters not the outward stuff.

I wonder if she will ever relate to other kids. She plays with her brother and Sierra in her own strange way. They also know that they need to engage her and constantly keep her on track during play. They do a wonderful job with her for only being 4. Its got to be hard for other kids to try and relate to her because she is so different. I don’t blame the other kids. I would of probably been the same way as a child. Honestly, I would of not wanted to play with her. Its hard at that age to understand people who are different. Maybe, I worry to much in this area. The most important thing to me as a mom is to have Bug and Little Man good friends. He watches over her like he is the big brother . As a little brother to a big sister he is amazing. I am ever so thankful to my Lord and Savior for intrusting these kids in my care. Have a blessed day!

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